I adore writing groups. If you can find a couple of people you want to read and write with, especially with similar goals, DM them and write together.
I think your fiction voice is blazing for more challenges. Some people have to shuck off restraints first. Not Lady Sh-boom here. 🤩Rule 1: If it’s fun, keep going! Rule 2: Who said anything about rules? 😄
Your title caught my attention and told me this story would have some humor and nostalgia. Very clever (for someone who recognizes the song). I also loved your description of Grape Nuts (a cereal I like, but yes, it is milk-resistant)! 😂 And the reason for make-up at school — Dad. Nice job building this character and her sense of unreality with many details.
Tara, thank you so much for your detailed feedback! If you saw my post ‘Fiction Fiesta’ published the day before the Nightmare article (link below) you’d know I had quite a bit of hand wringing over my first ever fiction post. Turns out I really enjoyed it so I wanted feedback to improve going forward. I appreciate you. 😊
It’s fresh, well-paced, spunky, imaginative. Gives a great sense of the main character. You should write fiction, don’t hold back.👍
Maybe the title might have been a bit more punchy, but maybe I’m wrong. The dream is not a very original premise, BUT you executed it very well! And the themes weren’t our choices in this case, we had to work with what we got.
Thank you, it was a fun story to read.🩶
Ah, sadly you didn’t get my theme, because I found out who did.
I can’t say enough how much your feedback helps! The prompt didn’t include the dream. I added that twist instead of their ending. Below is my prompt - because I think seeing it helps the reader of my story give more comprehensive feedback. I hope the writer of your prompt did it justice.
I was sixteen. I'd got into a school for sixth form that was much better, more academic and higher prestige than the one I was at. My best friend wasn't coming with me. She was going to a school that wasn't academic. Our paths were diverging. She ghosted me. From one day to the next, she stopped talking to me. She refused to engage or explain. She wouldn’t look at me. My last weeks at our old school were shocking and frightening. I didn’t understand what had happened. When term ended, I left her, and our friendship, her family who had become my own, everything that we'd had. I left it all and went to a new school. I was so upset I pretended to my new friends that my best friend had died, not knowing that one of them had a sister at the school my old best friend had gone to. One day she met her on the bus and told everyone that I had lied. I was found out. My pain followed me. I'd left my friend behind but couldn’t leave my pain. My pain followed me. Thirty five years later, she contacted me to apologise for ghosting me. She said sorry. She hadn’t known how to handle our lives going in different ways, she wanted a complete split, the only thing she knew how to do was cut. We are friends again.
I adore writing groups. If you can find a couple of people you want to read and write with, especially with similar goals, DM them and write together.
I think your fiction voice is blazing for more challenges. Some people have to shuck off restraints first. Not Lady Sh-boom here. 🤩Rule 1: If it’s fun, keep going! Rule 2: Who said anything about rules? 😄
I love these rules! Lol
😂
Your title caught my attention and told me this story would have some humor and nostalgia. Very clever (for someone who recognizes the song). I also loved your description of Grape Nuts (a cereal I like, but yes, it is milk-resistant)! 😂 And the reason for make-up at school — Dad. Nice job building this character and her sense of unreality with many details.
Tara, thank you so much for your detailed feedback! If you saw my post ‘Fiction Fiesta’ published the day before the Nightmare article (link below) you’d know I had quite a bit of hand wringing over my first ever fiction post. Turns out I really enjoyed it so I wanted feedback to improve going forward. I appreciate you. 😊
https://coribren.substack.com/p/fiction-fiesta?r=2umm6v
It’s a good story. I liked it.🩶
It’s fresh, well-paced, spunky, imaginative. Gives a great sense of the main character. You should write fiction, don’t hold back.👍
Maybe the title might have been a bit more punchy, but maybe I’m wrong. The dream is not a very original premise, BUT you executed it very well! And the themes weren’t our choices in this case, we had to work with what we got.
Thank you, it was a fun story to read.🩶
Ah, sadly you didn’t get my theme, because I found out who did.
I can’t say enough how much your feedback helps! The prompt didn’t include the dream. I added that twist instead of their ending. Below is my prompt - because I think seeing it helps the reader of my story give more comprehensive feedback. I hope the writer of your prompt did it justice.
I was sixteen. I'd got into a school for sixth form that was much better, more academic and higher prestige than the one I was at. My best friend wasn't coming with me. She was going to a school that wasn't academic. Our paths were diverging. She ghosted me. From one day to the next, she stopped talking to me. She refused to engage or explain. She wouldn’t look at me. My last weeks at our old school were shocking and frightening. I didn’t understand what had happened. When term ended, I left her, and our friendship, her family who had become my own, everything that we'd had. I left it all and went to a new school. I was so upset I pretended to my new friends that my best friend had died, not knowing that one of them had a sister at the school my old best friend had gone to. One day she met her on the bus and told everyone that I had lied. I was found out. My pain followed me. I'd left my friend behind but couldn’t leave my pain. My pain followed me. Thirty five years later, she contacted me to apologise for ghosting me. She said sorry. She hadn’t known how to handle our lives going in different ways, she wanted a complete split, the only thing she knew how to do was cut. We are friends again.