Why I didn't write Chasing Winter

First of a million stories about how to not post an article.

I took today off to do 4 things - set up a communication link with a relative currently in prison, exercise, post an article, and have a Fat Tuesday dinner with my sister at our favorite local restaurant. Prison communication - check! Exercise (shoveled snow) - check! Post and article - fake check. And, Fat Tuesday dinner - no check. We both got too comfy and decided to bag it. We can have a virtual drink later.

You see, this day started out hunky dory. I slept in (7:30 a.m. is late for me) and whiled away almost 3 hours with my son, which we never get to do. Then I shoveled snow for sunshine and exercise. Then I set up my communication app, as noted above. And then….

All hell broke loose. I caught up on Substack reading and replied as I pleased (thanks again for hands off the free speech). Then, I spent 2 hours ‘tidying up’ my publication site instead of writing my next article, thanks to some generous advice from Karen Cherry (Pubstack success) on refreshing our descriptions to have them grow with us.

But, let’s return to the scene of the crime for the full story. I started publishing articles on Substack January 11. Yes 2024. It’s no secret that I’m a newbie. However, because of the forthcoming, generous, expansive, expressive nature of Substack authors, I read things and I talk to people and I get ideas (in the form of 2-5 word phrases) popping into my head 24 x 7 (thanks people!!) which I store in a list app on my phone. I have found I write the best articles from those small ideas, using them as prompts from which I build the full tale. Since January 11th I’ve jotted down 78 ideas! So, I’ve had this long spell, I won’t call a dry spell, from my last post January 19th because I couldn’t decide which to choose next. An important thing to know about me is that if I start writing sentences in my head, it’s all over. I am compelled to sit down and spill it out of me onto the page, sort it out and publish it. It doesn’t matter if I have dinner on the stove that could catch fire, am in a critical meeting at work and someone looks at me to say “what do you think?”, I’m getting ready to get real cozy with my hubby, or whatever else - I must drop what I’m doing and write.

And, that brings me to today. I was unable to decide between starting my series about Lent, my peek into the brain of a designer, my interview with a veteran, or my whimsical piece about winter. Alas, the sentences that started popping into my head while tidying up my Substack page (CLEARLY a stalling tactic) were all about how I’ve spent 2 weeks pretending I don’t write so the “perfect” story will magically appear in my brain when the time is right instead of when the words want to come. How since January 19th I’ve started second-guessing my value as a writer and therefore as a person. Since this is what I think I could do a not-horrible job at when I grow up (retire), that scared the hell out of me.

So here I am. Stripped of pretense and writing about how not to get down to business. So, just for my subscribers and their closest social media friends, here is a quick list of tactics with which to procrastinate.

1. Clean - YUCK! NO!

2. Exercise - ok, maybe

3. Get cozy with someone - sure

4. Plan a trip - too much effort

5. Capture even more ideas for articles - Really?!?

6. Mix a drink - NO! Alcohol + avoidance = a future book on why I failed

7. Plan your lent strategy - ok, maybe

8. Rewrite your entire Substack site - this one works

9. Phone a friend - still not helping….

10. Knock it off, and write already

The utter, breathtaking beauty of this phase of my life is that no one, and I do mean no one, has any expectations of me in this writing chair. I can sit here laboring under only the expectations I have of myself. And, as long as I remember that sometimes I’ll meet those and sometimes I won’t, there’s nothing to fear. My sister, Sally, used to say this to me all the time during my millions, upon millions, of anxiety-riddled rants - “don’t be scared”. I know I’m in the right place at the right time with the best possible audience because I’m feeling very emotional right this second and that’s saying A LOT because I’m an ugly crier. Really, really ugly crier.

Anyhoo, thanks for reading. Hit me up in the comments if you are crazed for any of the 4 (of a cool 78) ideas I mentioned and I’ll promptly do my best to avoid them like the plague until the words blast my brain like a whippet - flashbacks anyone?