*Updated*
It’s been 7 months since I started writing Bren’s Buzz. I am not the same person I was when I started, or even when I originally published this post this summer. I’ve uncovered layers and layers of “me” that had built up throughout my life. A sister layer, a child layer, a wife, a mother, a friend, a professional, and so on. We all ‘put on’ life as we brush up against it. How deep are these layers, how authentic? Where am I in all of this?
Writing has given me the tools to excavate through these layers to the magical “red brick” (see
The Scroll for significance…) underneath. I think some of my family and acquaintances would say I’ve blossomed while others are concerned about the stranger I’ve revealed from within. I myself am happy. As I begin a transition to retirement, I feel comfortable in this new layer of ‘author’. I share my thoughts, fears, laughs, and worries of the days as they pass. These are the things many of us think about but rarely share. It’s comforting to know that 100’s of people find them compelling enough to follow along or subscribe. When I create a post, all I can do is promise it’s from the heart. Thank you for visiting.*Original Post*
I live as an adult with an abundance of caution. When I was younger, I feared everything - something I discovered about myself in my 40’s while taking a Landmark seminar. Although I am opening myself up to the wonders of humanity through my writing and my growing SubStack community, adding a photo to my online profile and Bren’s Buzz somehow terrifies me. My heart is racing like a rabbit’s. LOL. This too shall pass.
I’m a mother of 2 sons, wife, sister, aunt, cousin, coworker, author and human being. At almost 60 years old now, I’m considered fearless by most who know me (I was nick named The Sheriff by my boss back in college). I suppose in some ways I am fearless. Life has a way of using adversity to polish away the square corners, leaving an ultrasmooth round pebble burnished to perfection by survival of said adversities and life’s atrocities. Still, on some days I feel small, helpless, and hopeless deep inside where no one sees but God. And yet, on every tomorrow it’s exciting to see the sun rise and understand there’s still work to be done - on me, by me, for God, for the benefit of humanity…
If you’re afraid today, like I briefly was while uploading my photo, remember your work here is not done and nothing and nobody is going to stop you doing it until your creator decides it’s time for you to lay down your torch. Be gentle with yourself and the hearts in your care today because everyone’s afraid sometimes. Smiling helps.
Have a wonderful day all!
The unbearable lightness of being
Thank you kindly Charlotte! Hopefully we can all have coffee in person some day.