It's YOUR Brain. Take Over the Controls.

Pondering the vagarities of addiction

While reading the poem, “Addict, Moi?” by

David Angel

I had a thought that some addictions might not be what they seem.

In this sense, the poem is special. Hidden inside of it is what I call the addict’s riddle, which I consider to be the Schrödinger’s cat of our time. Something like - does the addiction have me, or do I have the addiction? The answer is yes, no, maybe.

I’ve lived the “second-hand” smoke of the addictions of family members my entire life and I had two battles myself, about which I will write a future post. This is to say that I’ve been here, personally, in the shit sometimes in denial or ignorance or hiding and sometimes battling the blaze alongside them. Still, I’m no expert and would not recommend believing anyone who tells you they are, because we’re talking about the human mind here which is tethered to the human soul, of which there are 8 billion distinct flavors on this planet. Under these circumstances, there are NO experts.

Through observation of others, a lot of others, and the epiphany above I wonder if maybe humans are not addicted to cigars, opiates, cigarettes, snuff, sadness (it’s a thing), porn, TV, internet, gambling, etc. But instead their minds are addicted to the thought of it.

I’ve smoked a cigar and it seemed that the experience was the virtue extolled, not the cigar itself. Cigarettes are similar. People gain weight when they quit because nicotine (speed) is no longer ravaging their system but also because the routine of putting the cigarette in their lips and lighting it is half the allure so they put more food there instead when they quit. The smoking experience is also socially soothing because smokers chat with others on smoke break. Once when my company went through a merger I started taking smoke breaks with my coworkers so I could find out what the heck was going on because they KNEW EVERYTHING.

I am ABSOLUTELY NOT suggesting any of this is easy or mundane. Such trivialization would be insulting at the least, and a direct challenge to God to send down a lesson (yes sometimes it’s clowns) at the most. What struck me while reading David’s poem were these stanza’s:

Always a battle Hurry to die Rasp and the rattle Lobar bronchi

Battle the voices Taunt and cajole me Reward my forbearance Just one more stogie!

“Battle the voices taunt and cajole me” is to suggest that something inside the brain is sending messages to the VOLUNTARY systems to perform an action.

If an addiction is actually killing a person, “hurry to die”, the survival instinct alone should take over. But, alas, it doesn’t. Why? Because the mind is in charge and the mind is ‘hooked’ on whatever the addiction is. Like leg jiggling, nail biting, or chewing on the top of a shirt (a family habit for some of my relatives), addictions fill a gap or an opening of which opportunists are wont to take advantage. Not as simple and not as trite as these examples, but a similar mechanism. The mind turns the performative motion into a reflex.

This might be great news for some who believe the substance/habit has “ahold of them”. In a way it does, but in an equal and opposing way it does not - if my supposition is true. If the mind is in charge, you are the keeper of the mind and are therefore capable of taking back the controls.

They say addicts must reach rock bottom before they’ll recover. Sometimes I wonder if that’s necessary or true. That implies that only severe ‘shock’ therapy works. I have not spoken to enough addicts to scientifically determine whether or not this is true. However, I’ve been around a lot of people, most of them outside of the normal we were taught on 1950’s television. And, what I’ve seen is once someone sets their mind to something, whatever the catalyst is to that mind-setting, they achieve and even surpass it.

There’s something inherently powerful about such manifestation, in the strictest sense of the word. When humans decide, then shit happens. I’ve mentored countless employees over my decades long career. By far the question I received the most was “what do I have to do to get an “exceeds expectations” rating?” To which I always responded “decide”. 100% of employees felt this was a cryptic (read bullshit) answer but it’s not. When people change their goals to actions they get results. When we change from “I want to” to “I will”, or better yet “I am” - SHIT HAPPENS. Big shit. I’ve personally proven this to myself time and again. I won’t go into those examples here, but suffice it to say “I am” is one of the most powerful phrases in any language.

“I am” is active, it’s affirming, it’s decisive, it’s definitive, etc. The words that follow this phrase are true. If not right this millisecond, then within moments of saying them. Our brains store this affirmation and quite literally rewire themselves to support it. Thus, maybe, it’s possible to change “I am addicted to xyz” into “I am strong and healthy” which the brain will get to work on, including possibly wrenching the reins from your addiction to make way for the health and strength you’ve claimed. There’s something here, something from inside David’s words that’s worth considering.

This started as a humble note that grew bigger and bigger, lending itself more to a post. Outside of greed, addiction is possibly the second largest self-induced tragedy in modern human-kind. It’s touched everyone in some form or fashion. It threatens the very future existence of humanity. Is it not possible for every single person reading this post to use “I am” for themselves AND to use “You are” to help another human in their lives? Or 6 or 10 or 50 humans? How much change can two simple words create? Let’s find out, shall we?

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Addict, Moi?