Have You Ever Been Ninja'd?
Prevention is the key!
Credit: Free Vectors
Have you ever met someone you thought sure was already a friend, or at least an acquaintance? I have - Cheri F.
Cheri is a sunny, cheerful person with just a bit of snark, who I met at an event. We sat together around a family table after the lunch, after the event. We both felt sure we’d met before; certain we knew each other.
Over a period of hours, I learned she’s married, has children one of whom is hesitant to get his license (kids today?). She’s best friends with Kate, who was there too and whom she lives across the street from, in her neighborhood. Kate, I knew from mutual friends. I’d actually attended her wedding back in the day. But, Cheri, she felt so familiar.
Throughout the few hours together, we’d interrupt the conversation flow to say, “where do you work?” - “nope, not that.” Where do you live?” - “nope, not that.” “Where do your kids go to school"?” - “nope, not that.” It’s one of those things that will wake me from a sound sleep in the near future with the thought “that’s it! I know how I know her.” Until then, she’ll be the friend ‘that got away’. LOL.
What’s really funny about our chance meeting is when she found out I’m a writer, she asked for my site because she loves to read (kindred spirits for sure). As we continued to ‘reminisce’, we were all sharing strange things that had been happening to friends and family lately. She said her family now uses ‘ninja’ as a verb = ‘ninja’d’, since her husband’s experience with a ninja. We were all like “do tell”. So, she shared her phone with me asking me to read it aloud for the group. It turns out this story is the first-hand account of being ‘ninja’d’, as told by her husband, Eric F. She wanted me to share it on Sub Stack because she felt the audience here would appreciate it and she and her husband would never be writers to share it.
Thank you, Cheri and Eric, for the belly laughs! And also, many thanks for my very first writing collaboration. I love you for that!
Eric texted Cheri one morning, after some late-night shenanigans. The text account follows:
'“Had a weird stay last night at the hotel…I dreamt I was being attacked by a tiny person while in bed, he was punching me repeatedly like a tiny ninja over and over again in the head, my legs, my arms, my neck and all I could do was scream high pitched like a little girl. There were even roundhouse kicks involved in the attack. I was defenseless against the speed of the onslaught. Eventually I was able to grab a pillow to soften the blows, but then the tiny ninja ripped the pillow from my hands and started hitting me with the pillow too. It seemed to go on forever.
Finally, a large shadowy figure appeared out of nowhere and grabbed up the tiny ninja, pillow and all, and saved me from the attack as I continued to scream in horror. My hero. They disappeared into the night as quickly as they appeared.
Then I heard hysterical laughter coming from the hallway just outside my room, it was as if someone was mocking my helplessness and terror. It was so disturbing it woke me from my deep sleep, and I tossed and turned for several minutes afterward wondering why my dream felt so real.
Then there was a knock at the door, about 3a.m. at this point. It was the hotel staff checking to see if I was ok. I began to apologize for my screaming and express hope that my terrible dream did not disturb other guests, but the staff interrupted and apologized for accidentally giving keys to my room to another family with a small 7-year-old child…apparently one with extensive training in martial arts.
Now realizing my dream was in fact reality, I took notice that the staff couldn’t help but giggle in response to my question about the child…I was concerned I had caused as much terror in the child as I had felt myself, but when I asked about the child she giggled and said he’s just fine, in fact he was bragging about how he had “kicked my ass” and the family felt terrible for laughing about it afterward, but that my screams in response to being attacked by a 7-year-old struck them as pretty funny.
I now have 40,000 more Marriott points added to my account, I guess it pays to get your ass kicked by a 7-year-old ninja.”
To which Cheri asked, “didn’t you flip the thingy on the door when you came in?” “No”, he said. “I must have forgot. I was too tired.”
I immensely appreciate the imagery of Eric’s tale. I think we can all agree - “ALWAYS FLIP THE THINGY ON THE HOTEL ROOM DOOR, or you’re likely to be ‘ninja’d’ yourselves. LOL.
Let’s get Eric the press he deserves, hmmm? How about sharing this with God and everyone.
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