Bedazzle me, Ron! Bedazzle me, hard!
This will only hurt a little....
No redheads were injured in the making of this pic. These are not real people. This is an AI image. The interwebs will have to get a whole lot better at producing what’s in my head, because there was not a single real image of a group of women at a party in bedazzled jeans.
Objects in this image are closer than they appear and might yet be found in your grandma’s closet. Credit: the New York Times
Within the last couple of years I’ve purchased 2 “Pocket Fisherman” fishing rods, which fold up to literally fit in a pocket. I guess these are for pop up fishing mobs that break out along the banks of the nearest small stream, pond, or lake when a person has had absolutely all the fun they can stand at their IRL job and just has to step away and fish. If you’ve been part of a ‘flishmob’ please, for the love of God, tell us about it in the comments.
Ronco Pocket Fisherman
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Anyhoo, I bought a Pocket Fisherman for my great nephew Gannon and then his brother wanted one too, so on the next gift-giving occasion I bought Silas one. I’m thinking of getting myself one but, after all, there is a veritable PLETHORA of RoncoTM gems to pick from so I should choose wisely.
Listen, if you grew up in the 70-80’s in the US, there were Ronco smokeless ashtrays, buttoneers, bedazzlers, veg-o-matics, chop-o-matics, cookie presses, miracle brooms, and possibly pocket fishermans all over the darned house - from the precious rust-flowered velveteen-couch-ridden living room through the dining room where all the mending took place, out into the kitchen which was a melamine paradise where 2-3 packs (per person) were smoked daily while all the ‘grown-ups’ gathered around the table drinking and playing cards, and the youngins clung to their parents’ elbows looking on in awe at the original ‘cool kids’ table. I mean, who among us wasn’t falling asleep dreaming of the day they’d finally understand what the actual hell ‘kitty’ and ‘trump’ and ‘the bitch’ really meant so they could be right there in one of those chairs? Making it to that table was almost more important than playing spin the bottle or getting a driver’s license.
Enter Mr. Ron Popeil, of Ronco fame.
Inventor, pitchman, and ‘salesman of the century’, when Ron died in July 2021 the world lost a joyful spark from the soul of a true creator.
According to Wikipedia:
Popeil received the Ig Nobel Prize in Consumer Engineering in 1993. The awards committee described him as the "incessant inventor and perpetual pitchman of late night television" and awarded the prize in recognition of his "redefining the industrial revolution" with his devices.
On his website (https://www.ronpopeil.com) is a truly remarkable partial list of the products he invented, including:
Mr. Microphone (the first Karaoke machine), the Popeil Pocket Fisherman, the Veg-o-Matic, the Buttoneer, the Smokeless Ashtray, Popeil’s Electric Food Dehydrator, the Inside-the-Egg Scrambler, GLH-9 (Great Looking Hair Formula #9) Hair in a Can Spray, Rhinestone stud setter (Later called the Bedazzler), the Cap Snaffler, the Popeil Automatic Pasta Maker, the Ronco Electric Food Dehydrator, the Ronco 6 Star Plus Knives, and the Showtime Rotisserie and BBQ.
Ron Popeil was also a pioneer in the recording business. Ronco Records was one of the first in the recording industry to build compilations of well-known artists’ works and to package them for direct to consumer sales on television. This practice was later adopted by others and is still in use by Time Life and other music purveyors.
Popeil has been on more television channels for more hours in more markets for more years than virtually all other celebrities in American television history. Popeil’s sales format, pitch style, and catch phrases were almost immediately duplicated by dozens of other pitchmen. Most of the marketing sales on television today, and the “countdown pricing methods” are direct derivatives of Popeil’s works. The expression and branding “As Seen on TV” was first coined to describe Ron’s legendary success.
I reckon Ron is the father of the modern infomercial, having broken that ground before his solo career even took off in 1964. He sold BILLIONS of dollars worth of gadgets throughout his lifetime, after making his first television commercial in 1959. He was a man who loved the thrill of the chase and I wager he was well rewarded for that ambition, as were most of our mothers, grandmothers, and possibly great-grandmothers.
Even I have an original veg-o-matic, by way of my brother in-law’s grandmother. He generously gave me that prize after she passed several years ago. It is the simplest, highly engineered tool in my kitchen and looks just like this. I treasure it!
Ronco Veg-O-Matic, circa 1963 credit Ronco website
But wait, there’s more. No, seriously, there is more. The Rhinestone Stud Setter, later renamed the Bedazzler (by a competitor), sold millions of units. It experienced a surge in the 90’s and 2,000’s when it became a ‘pop culture phenomenon.’ These babies are still available on eBay and Amazon for $25-$40 a unit. Can you believe that? To quote the ‘salesman of the century’, “these would make the PERFECT Christmas gifts” for all the humans with class on your very own gift list, hint hint, wink wink.
There you have it, folks. It doesn’t get any easier than that! Here’s to the salesman of the century, Ron Popeil, now serving as your very own, quintessential Christmas navigator - if only in spirit. Hats off to you, sir.
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Join the buzz around Ronco this holiday season and bring that simple 1970’s smile back to your face again.
Love this Vanessa!
I had a popeel pocket fisherman “and boy does it catch fish!” Lost it to thieves on a 6 week stoned-out beach bumming trip to Tenacatita in 1975