40 Years in the Desert
Benefits of purposeful introspection during Lent's 40 days
Credit: L. Rhoades. Lest we forget to notice the sheer beauty of intelligent design….
Look up Lent online and you’ll see all manner of semi garbage surrounding this annual holy period of the Christian faith. What it means, what to eat, which days signify what, how and from what to abstain, etc., etc., etc. No disrespect intended towards the “interwebs” (thank you, Danny D), but these blurby (look it up, it’s in the dictionary (now)) definitions are pale paper dolls - flat, flimsy, and cold - without a personal tether to real spiritual growth; the kind Jesus experienced for for 40 days while being tempted and tortured by Satan and the Israelites (and others) spent 40 years wondering. In fact, my personal experience with lent indicates that the only resemblance those trite definitions have to His plight is the number 40. (I corrected this paragraph (I should not write late at night!). I’d mixed the 40 day and 40 year references I used. Quantities of 40 are a repeating theme in the Bible).
Let’s go back to the beginning of what I’ll call henceforth “real Lent” for me. Almost 10 years ago I began what is now a close friendship with The Billion Dollar Thinktank gang, introduced in the article by the same name, in my newsletter Bren’s Buzz.
One member in particular, Ross K, greatly influenced my baby steps forward in a faithful walk. He began recommending books to me. All kinds of books, but it started with 7 Men, by Eric Metaxas. Which, subsequently led to my reading 7 Women, Bonhoeffer, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the Bible and the Axe, and many more. In fact this led to a bit of an obsession with biographies, followed by non-fiction greats like Say Nothing (about the IRA and The Troubles), Devil in the White City, The Lost City of the Monkey God, Killers of the Flowering Moon, and so on. It was a period of years during which my brain, my heart, and my connection to the universe around me expanded exponentially, like the period from birth to 5 years old when many say that humans learn more than any other period in their lives.
Ross is a dedicated Christian, with unshakeable family values and an unselfish openness about faithful progress. When he invited me to his church, my life irrevocably changed; almost as much as when I spoke the words to become a Christian, in a hushed whisper in the front row of our little Methodist church in rural Pennsylvania when I was 3 or 4 years old. In fact, it was after I got to know Ross that I became serious about my personal, spiritual growth as a Christian. Up to this point, “Christian” was a word I used to describe myself. After this, it became a deeply personal connection, although admittedly still in its God-given infancy. It was during this awakening that I was drawn to Lent. Irreversibly led to personally connect with what God might truly expect of me, each year for the better part of 40 devoted days. I desired a spiritual link I could physically feel, something to manifest itself in my presence, even if only for a few seconds. What I got, was so much more.
While my reading list was expanding, I also turned to meditation with meaning. I kept a journal for awhile, but dropped that like a techno-baby who grows up to get out from behind the cell phone camera to actually live and feel the life experiences, instead of watching them through the lens. I began rising early, 4 - 5 a.m. early, without an alarm clock, to have quiet time with that upon which I chose to focus each Lent. Two of the earlier books I used to guide me were 40 Days of Decrease by Alicia Britt Cole and unhurryUp! Into Easter by Paula Gamble-Grant. Through these books I converted a common Lenten focus of giving up to instead, or also, starting or beginning anew. This small change enriched my experience tremendously and included starting habits like going out for a weekly meal with each of my sons, walking, hugging people, having lunch with an acquaintance to build a friendship, and volunteering. I also gave things up during these growth years including a decades-long addiction to romance novels used to escape real life, trying to control the world around me, and being afraid of almost everything (catastrophizing). A few years ago I read The Emptiness of Our Hands: 47 Days on the Streets by Phyllis Cole-Dai, which drastically changed my thinking and my heart, again! It changed my focus at work, at home, and outward toward my community.
I’ve learned to set aside performing during this period. I make my plans for Lent organically, frequently at the last minute when, like my writing, the foci come to me as if in a dream - that which I need to delve into deeper. My growth has not come without heartbreaking setbacks either. In 2022, during the pandemic, I verbally and vehemently rebuked God because a very young family relative was suffering horrible abuse in his home and I couldn’t tolerate that God, or someone, or something wouldn’t sweep in and spirit him away to safety. After my rant, I assisted by providing legal contacts to my sister to assist her in getting grandparent rights, allowable in her state. Since the rebuke, the spark/voice of the Holy Spirit has been undetectable inside me, but I know it’s there - a permanent resident from 3 years old until forever. Only I wasn’t feeling it. But, I continued the 40-day focus in faith and last year I focused on reengaging it by committing to peace and memorizing verses about peace and love which I’ve recited before sleep almost every night since. It has helped. It turns down the roar of hatred, violence, greed, and unadulterated egomaniacal narcissism prevalent on our speck of fluff in this universe. That’s all a quiet buzz in the background that I can sometimes completely tune out. Praise God!
I had my doubts about writing this post, hence publishing it now, after Lent has begun.
My eldest son, so insightful, said that talking about Lent is like looking for affirmation which is vanity. For example, fasting. He said “if you’re telling people you’re fasting all day, you’re being fed with gratification.” Profound! I love that kid’s brain! But, that is not what this post is about. It's about how intentional, internal, purposeful focus retrains our human brains. It’s about how no matter which “W” organizations are pulling the strings on this planet, our individual and collective human, reasoning brains and universally collective hearts can overcome tyranny, self-inflicted or otherwise. It’s about what a commitment, no matter how long ago made, when recalled to the conscious brain, can transform a life into a meaningful journey taking us simply - forward.
If you’re interested, it’s easier to connect with my experience through a small test. Choose one thing to give up for one week. Keep in mind Lent is a mere 6 weeks and Jesus spent 40 torturous days of fasting in the desert. But, for this exercise, choose only one thing for one week. Please write it down right now.
Then, look at it each morning before you start your day. Finally, journal how many times you catch yourself doing or about to do that thing during the week. You will be amazed how easily and immediately you suddenly become aware of your infractions during this week (meditative focus or the power of suggestion - you decide). When your week is up, come back and share with me through comments what you’ve captured.
To give you a visual, one year I gave up lying. Yes you heard me. I am not a liar by nature, but felt I was sometimes lying to myself at that point in my life, so chose to shed the habit. You have NO idea how much we lie - to ourselves and through small untruths, exaggerations, misdirections, prevarications, and maybe’s we lie to others.
I dare you to except the truth that wherever you are in your life right now, you’ve miles, and miles, and miles to go before you sleep. Godspeed my friends, and God bless.
If you’d like to tie up 8 minutes of your closest friends’ time, please share this post with them.
If you believe in the power of networks for good, subscribe to and share this newsletter and checkout Substack’s awesome community and excellent material for yourself.
Uncanny how similar our journeys are in some ways!